Breaking Dawn: The Unwritten Scenes
by miss-blanche
Summary: A compilation of one-shots set in Breaking Dawn that detail scenes that were not featured but briefly alluded to in Breaking Dawn. Written mainly in Edward's point of view but other characters may appear later. Rating may change.
1. Mutiny

**A/N This is my first (but in all liklihood probably not my last) attempt at a few unwritten scenes in Breaking Dawn. Jacob's POV (as much as I loved it) really left a lot to the imagination, so I had a go at writing what I imagine might have gone down when Bella and Edward returned to the Cullen house after the baby discovery. Enjoy :)**

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**Mutiny**

I wanted to kill her.

The only reason I could justify not killing her was my innocent wife, staring up at us wide eyed.

"Out." I growled. "Now."

I could feel Carlisle shifting towards us protectively, registering the harsh tone in my voice.

"I'm not going anywhere." She replied as if the mere suggestion was the craziest notion she'd ever heard; "We don't know the extent of this child's-"

I hissed threateningly; Carlisle placed a comforting but firm hand on my shoulder. I couldn't understand his hesitance – he was as eager to save Bella as I was.

_I won't see the both of you killing each other._

After over ninety years of companionship, I was not the only one out of the two of us who could read minds accurately. I ignored his thought though; if Rosalie didn't move in a timely fashion I _would_ take her down to protect Bella.

"Please Edward."

I forced myself to look down into the scared chocolate eyes.

Eyes that were scared of _me_.

"I..." She looked down at her hands, "I don't want to get rid of this baby."

It was the first time I had honestly felt frustrated by her ignorance. Other things had irritated me slightly – caused me trouble on the matter of keeping her safe – but they had never caused this incurable feeling of frustration. Why couldn't she see that the thing growing inside her was a… _monster?_ A monster that shared my lust for her blood… A monster that didn't share my self control and love. Why couldn't she see that?

The answer was standing on the other side of the bed, her arms folded defiantly.

Rosalie was feeding her delusion.

I felt a growl growing in the back of my throat.

"Out. Now." I repeated.

"We can't trust what you might do if I leave."

_We?_ Since when had it been we?

I glanced down at Bella's face and my stomach twisted in agony. At this very moment, she trusted Rosalie more inexplicably than me. Rosalie. Rosalie was her protector now – the person with whom she couldn't live without.

I had become terrifying.

The knowledge made me angrier – Rosalie was fuelling this fear – fuelling a delusion – for her own means.

It took all my self restraint not to launch myself over the bed and straight into her.

"Carlisle won't do anything," I choked the words out; "I want to discuss this."

"You can discuss it with the both of us." She replied stiffly, flipping her long blonde hair over one shoulder.

I set my jaw. She was asking me without asking me, to try and persuade Bella to think rationally. Something I had tried countless times since our return five hours earlier. Something that would fail however I went about it. Nothing would persuade Bella – not even the pain in my voice – however much it killed her. Rosalie knew this all to well, and was using it to her advantage. If Bella wouldn't look at things rationally, then anything that might save her life would come against her will.

Meaning _I_ was the bad guy.

"I'll stay." Emmett said finally, his uncharacteristically stony face set in compromise, "I won't let anything happen."

I looked up at Rosalie (not hopefully, because I was well past the point of hope and was too angry to achieve anything near the feeling) but determinedly. I knew it might be the only thing that swayed her – she trusted Emmett. Her face and thoughts were torn.

_Carlisle couldn't get past Emmett… But Carlisle might change his… He wouldn't go against me… But he wouldn't want to see Bella…_

"I can't leave Emmett." She said with a shake of her head. Her voice was much more confident than the erratic thoughts in her head.

"Edward is my brother too," Emmett said, not betraying his true thoughts; "And he deserves a say in what happens to his wife."

"No offence intended Emmett, but don't I get a say?" Bella asked shyly but determinedly.

"Of course you do," Emmett said softly, "But out of the two of you, who's thinking out your safety more clearly right now?"

"You think I'm not thinking about her safety?" Rosalie hissed.

I snorted, but the sound didn't have the ironic inflexion I had hoped it would. I was still too livid and it sounded more like a growl than a snort.

"Don't mock me Edward." She snarled, "I'm thinking this out even more clearly than you are. I'm not nearly mad with worry."

"Don't tell me what I'm feeling!" I roared, upending the tray of medical implements that was at the foot of the bed. Bella's jumped in fright and I immediately regretted the outburst.

"You're frightening her." Rosalie hissed, placing a hand on her hot forehead softly.

The restricting arms that locked me in place and stopped me from flying at her were not Emmett's as I had expected.

"Calm down Edward." Jasper demanded.

Immediately a soothing feeling spread through my body like warm butter. I tried to resist the attack on my senses but the venom that had rushed to my mouth on my near attack on Rosalie washed back down my throat.

"Damn it Jasper." I muttered, feebly trying to escape his grasp.

"Rosalie, get out of the room." Jasper demanded in the same commanding voice he had used on me.

"I told you I'm not-"

"Now." Emmett said fiercely, "I'm not going to watch my own brother kill you because you're too stubborn and pig headed to grant him one wish. Especially not when it concerns Bella. Carlisle won't come within two feet of her."

Rosalie's resolve was withering; "What if Alice-"

"I'll leave too." Her pixie voice came from somewhere behind me and it seemed our entire family had come to see the brawl; "Carlisle, Jasper and I will come with you and Edward downstairs and we'll discuss things. Esme and Emmett will stay here with Bella. They're on your side."

_The babies' side._ Rosalie thought.

Jasper's arms tightened around me more forcefully.

"I want to speak with Rosalie on my own." I said inaudibly.

"Not possible right now Edward." Jasper said in a warning tone, "When you've calmed down maybe."

"Then maybe you should try harder to calm me down." I suggested.

Despite the serious situation, he actually had the audacity to crack a smile.

We moved down the stairs in a clump. Jasper no longer restricting me but keeping a firm hand on my shoulder and directing me towards the living room. Rosalie at the back, looking behind her every few seconds to make sure Emmett and Esme were still in the room at _'Bella's best interests.'_

I growled, Jaspers hand sinking into my shoulder.

When we reached the room I shrugged out of Jasper's grasp and turned to face the epitome of my misery. She folded her arms in defiance again and said pointedly; "You're not going to change our mind."

"You can't speak for her!" I spat, "She doesn't know what she's doing!"

"I've explained it to her," She said with a shrug, as if she were talking about explaining the mechanics of putting together a computer; "She understands the risks. She's willing to make them. You need to understand that this is a miracle."

"It's going to kill her!" I almost howled.

"How do you know?" She asked, "Have you ever seen something like this before?"

"No! Which is precisely why we should be getting it out of her! We don't know what it's capable of!"

"I can't see it." Alice said quietly from her position on the lounge, "That's why I called you Edward. Bella's future disappeared."

"See?!" I exclaimed, "Do you see?"

"That proves nothing," Rosalie said defensively, "Except that the baby is obviously not a vampire because if it was Alice would be able to see it. If it's not a vampire there is no reason for Bella to stop carrying it."

"Except we have no idea what it is!" I cried. "Carlisle, help me get through her thick skull, please!"

He looked at us both with a painful expression. I knew seeing his children fighting like this was killing him, but it mattered little in the face of that thing killing Bella from the inside…

I shuddered.

"Rosalie, it would most likely be a detriment to Bella's health allowing the foetus to grow."

I winced at the word foetus.

"I refuse to believe that until I see some proof."

"Have you looked at her since she rushed into your arms at the airport?" I spluttered, "She's sick Rosalie! What further proof do you need?"

"Pregnant women get sick all the time."

"How would you know? You've never been one!" I roared, knowing it would force something more passionate than infuriatingly defiant nonchalance.

Her eyes narrowed and she sprang at me snapping wildly. We flew into the glass coffee table snarling and thrashing. My triumphant smile at finally being able to vent my impossible anger only fuelled her volatile attack.

It was Carlisle who pulled me away from her and Jasper who tore her from me. We stared at each other, hate radiating from our golden eyes and spreading through the room like a poisonous gas. Alice put her head in her hands.

"That's it!" I said, straining away from Carlisle futilely, "You're trying to get the baby you've always wanted!"

_Lies!_ She thought, but I could sense the flicker of dishonesty in her thoughts. She couldn't hide them from me. She tried to find some truth in the worry for Bella that she so devoutly spoke of, but she knew I knew it was pointless.

Her pull to the child was much, _much_ stronger than her worry for Bella.

"I do worry!" She said defensively, "I know you can feel it!"

"Not as clearly as I can feel your love for that… _Thing!!"_ I spat.

At the word thing, it was as if the fire in her eyes had been extinguished. Her limbs fell limp in Jasper's grasp and her expression was determined once more.

"It doesn't matter." She said, "Bella wants it. You're going to have to kill me to get to her. And you'll have to kill Emmett to get to me. I'm not going to change my mind Edward, so you may as well start thinking about how we're going to deliver this baby safely and stop worrying about trying to kill the thing your wife wants most."

And with that she shrugged out of Jasper's gasp, more calmly than I had moments before when we had come down the stairs, and walked out of the room.

There was silence as the four of us digested her words.

"There… Might be other cases…" Carlisle finally said quietly, "Perhaps, Alice you could…?"

She nodded; her head still in her hands.

Jasper's head snapped in her direction and he was with her in seconds, his arms around her, his voice soothing her worries softly.

I could feel my knees buckling, something so human that I sank to the ground in shock. Since my transformation I had never once felt a weakness in any part of my body that had not been brought about by another vampire.

Not even when I had thought Bella was dead.

I swallowed – even though it was ineffectual – and rested my forehead against my knees.

I could hear Jasper's low voice warming Alice's cold dread.

My other half – the only one who might have any hope of bringing about the same relief in me as Jasper was bringing about in Alice – felt miles away, taking comfort in my hateful sister and the empty promises she made about survival and the beautiful baby she would give birth to.

All anger was gone.

Grief had taken hold.

Had I been able to cry, my jeans would have been covered in tears.

But now, my body merely shuddered involuntarily, with what would have been sobs.

_She was going to die, and it was my fault._

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**If anyone would like me to write a second unwritten scene from BD, leave a note in a review and I'll turn this into a series fic rather than a one shot :) For incentive, reviewers get a very very angst ridden Edward to cheer up ;) **


	2. Apology

**A/N I've had a few suggestions about scenes from BD I could do and I liked pretty much all of them so they probably will all appear at some point :) This is something I thought of the other night, then forgot yesterday morning, and then remembered and wrote last night... lol. Basically it's what might have happened when Jacob went imprint hunting in a Cullen car. Lol. Enjoy! Oh also, the name of this will probably be changing because the title only fits the first chap. Thanks to all who reviewed! :)**

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**Apology**

"I'm sorry."

It was weak. Even the sound of it was weak but perhaps that was just the result of not being entirely over the shock.

She turned away from the window slowly, wincing slightly but in a manner that suggested she was trying to hide it (so like her) and smiled enchantingly. Her chocolate brown eyes met mine and I knew what was coming before she even said it.

_I forgive you._

_I forgive you._

_I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you._

I almost groaned. It was almost physically painful to see the sure love in her eyes. What had I ever done to deserve her? What had I ever done to deserve someone so self sacrificial and forgiving?

Nothing.

I didn't deserve her.

"I am so sorry," I choked a second time. I crossed the room in one fluid step, took her hand and held it against my face, kneeling in front of her, "I'm so sorry Bella. So, eternally sorry."

I rested my head softly against her round belly, choking back the grief instilled in me as strongly as a violent hunger.

And suddenly, the wave of shock hit me again as I became aware of the third person involved in our conversation.

I had often imagined what it might be like to hold a gift like Jasper's. Hearing the babies' thoughts was very much what I imagined his gift to be like. I couldn't hear definite thoughts, not in sentence form. But I could feel his love for her somehow. A warmth radiating deep from inside of her. I could feel the flurry of excitement as he realised how close I was…

Nothing mattered. The apology I had been so determined to choke out again and again, knowing it would never be enough, the grief and self hatred I knew would eventually sneak into my heart and crawl up like an old dog at having called my own child a _monster…_

"You see now."

I looked up. She was staring down at me, a blissful half smile playing on her lips and a few stray tears shining in her eyes.

"It's not something that can be explained," She said, trying to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks; "It's irrational. Esme knows. Rosalie knows. I know. And now, you know too."

How could she possibly be this perfect? I wanted so much to avert my gaze – because surely I would die from love looking at her – but I couldn't. I owed it to her to look. To show her how completely devoted I was to her _and_ our baby. Now and forever.

She stroked the side of my face gingerly; "It's going to be okay. Rosalie is right. The other cases were different. I'll have Carlisle to work on me and monitor everything and I'll have you."

I snorted; "What good am I? Until now I was more detriment."

Her expression hardened; "You have to promise you will stop punishing yourself! You were in no way doing the wrong thing. You just didn't realise – it wasn't your fault."

"I… Know." I struggled with the word. I looked down at her belly; "At least I do now."

"Edward…" She whispered, lowering herself slowly so she was kneeling in front of me. She began to say something but then rethought and ducked her head.

"If... Everything doesn't go as planned…"

Panic shot through my veins like ice.

"It will." I growled, "You just said so yourself."

"I know." She waved my protests away impatiently, "I wasn't referring to this specifically…" She bit her lip, "I mean… If anything happens to me at any point in time. Whether it be when this baby is born or in a hundred years… You have to promise you won't go with me."

I shook my head in confusion; "Bella love what are you…?"

"I don't want to leave him alone." She said placing a hand on her bell protectively. She looked up at me, her glistening eyes determined; "You have to promise."

Promise to remain if Bella… _died?_

The thought was almost impossible to comprehend. The grief alone was immobilising and I was merely thinking about it. The loss I had only ever experienced once before after the fateful phone call from Rosalie…

I shuddered.

"Not possible Bella."

She sighed in desperation. "Please Edward," She grabbed my hand and placed it gently on her belly, "I know it's impossible to imagine… But…" She took a deep breath, "If something happened to you… I… I'd have to stay. Who would protect him? I… Please? You see everything else so clearly how can you not see this?"

I was frustrated with myself. It felt like I had gone one step forward and taken ten back.

"I can't Bella…"

"Try." She said desperately pressing my cold stone hand into her warm human belly.

I gave an exasperated sigh but then, in compliance I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the feel of her warm skin and imagined what was beneath it.

_Felt_ what was beneath it.

I could feel the warm love radiating again, almost burring my ice fingers, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Anything but. I concentrated on that with a frown, knowing what was coming next.

And then I felt it.

It never got less shocking, the knowledge that this child was actually happy when I was near. My more logical side couldn't understand why considering the original hatred I had felt towards him.

But the happiness wasn't logical. It was irrational.

I could feel the love more clearly now. He had registered that I was like him – I couldn't explain how I knew this. It was simply an overwhelming and sudden realisation. The warmth doubled as he connected our similarities.

This child was half me. And he knew it.

A lump rose in my throat.

And I knew I could do it.

It wouldn't make the loss of Bella any less painful. I knew nothing could cure that loss. But I knew I could endure the loss – not because it was anymore endurable – but because it was unavoidable.

Unavoidable to leave what was half my responsibility.

A responsibility that I was only blissful to have.

I nodded, silently, pulling her hand to my mouth and kissing it softly.

"Just make me one promise?" I said softly.

"What's that?" She asked nervously.

"If it's a boy… You won't call him EJ."

She cracked a smile and, let out a relieved laugh that was almost too loud not to have some grief behind it; "But it fits!"

I shook my head with a smile refusing to meet her gaze. I knew if I did I wouldn't be able to take it; moving back and forth between grief, love and cheekiness at such a speed.

"What about just Edward?"

I thought about that critically; "Don't you think one's enough?"

She laughed; "You know I don't."

I laughed with her; "What about Charlisle?"

From what I could see from under my lashes, she was raising her eyebrow dubiously.

"Are you teasing me?"

I grinned impishly; "Perhaps."

We kneeled in silence for a few more minutes, content in each other's company and lost in our thoughts, blissful and nervous about what lay ahead of us in Bella's womb.

I finally chanced a look up and Bella was staring out the window at the forest again thoughtfully.

"What are you thinking about?"

She smiled at the trees; "Feathers again."

"Again?"

"I'm pretty sure that memory has been charred into my subconscious forever. It'll probably be the only thing that survives my transformation."

I laughed heartily now. The effort hurt after so many works of despair. And she was laughing with me, her angel face radiant in its happiness.

And suddenly the fire I hadn't felt in weeks took me over and I captured her surprised lips with my own. She smiled briefly before placing both her arms around my neck.

_The quintessence of perfection. _I thought with a smile of my own as I considered the three of us, together now and forever.

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**So though it was sort of fluffy I thought I should do something nice to balance out the angst of the last one... lol. Hands up reviewers, who wants an Edward of their own to kiss? ;)**


	3. On the Plane

**A/N This was actually written on request and it's not as long or as detailed as I originally wanted but my holiday boredom seems to be causing detriment to my muse and screwing with my writing, lol. Complaining about holidays, now there's a worrying sign. Enjoy it anyway! :)**

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**On the Plane**

I was sure that by the end of the infuriatingly long plane trip there was going to be five finger nail shaped dents in the arm rest on my chair.

_Tap, tap, tap, tap… God could that guy be any more annoying?_

I blocked out the irritating thoughts of the elderly man on my left and continued to use the arm rest as a medium for my worry. I didn't dare look at Bella. I didn't know if I could handle doing that. I wasn't sure I could stop myself from ripping apart her abdomen right there to get rid of…

I fell back into the chair with a silent groan. The woman behind me shifted in her seat anxiously.

_...been acting strange since he sat down. God knows what he has in that massive carry on bag. Tightened national security my arse…_

I ignored her too.

Without looking at Bella I could sense that she wasn't looking at me. I could feel the contours of her body turned from me – most likely she was looking out the window, trying her best to ignore me. I could hardly blame her.

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry._

The apology sounded more futile in my head than it would have spoken. I tapped harder on the arm rest, biting the thumb nail on my other hand in an uncharacteristically human way and trying to think logically.

_Carlisle will get it out of her. He'll find a way. He'll get it out of her and I'll transform her before anything else can go wrong. God what next? _

I looked ahead towards the cock pit and almost snorted – asking what could go wrong next was akin to asking the pilot to have a cardiac arrest – or for a real terrorist to be on board, as opposed to one out-of-his-mind-with-worry vampire.

A thought struck me as I considered this and it made me stop tapping in fear.

What if she didn't want to be transformed now? What if this time she had finally had enough?

I swallowed a mouthful of venom.

Panic shot through my body like ice, numbing me to the ends of my fingers and toes and everywhere in between. I was immobile as I contemplated a life without Bella. A life that detailed Bella growing old – most likely with that mutt…

I swallowed again.

A human life.

I had contemplated it so many times before now. The consequences of my absence in her life. Now more than ever, it was truly easy to ignore the images of her – skeletal, sick with loss almost – and to accept the happy human ones she could have without me. The ones I had tried to give her from the beginning.

With that thing in her womb – the thing that had resulted from my monstrous nature – it was easy to let the self hatred and self doubting thoughts crawl into my head. I tried to block them out – tried to heal them with everything she'd told me on the matter of her love for me – but it was fruitless, because logically, no one could love something that had put them in danger time and time again in the most torturous ways possible.

I couldn't stand it any longer.

"Bella…."

She turned from the window wildly, tears glistening in her eyes. That left the words I had been meaning to say dangling on the tip of my tongue. But it wasn't just her anguish – though that could have easily silenced me on its own – but the mixture of emotions in her expression. Guilt… and also… fear?

"I should never have put you in this situation." I said barely choking the words out, "I will never put you in this much danger again."

She shook her head and there was now exasperation in her expression. Exasperation! I wanted to smash through the window beside her and jump out of it. The feeling increased ten fold when I considered doing so would be ineffectual.

God I hated immortality. I had never thought it possible to hate it more than I did at this moment, but the… thing… had elucidated my hatred even further.

She shook her head, in contradiction to what I had said or to signal that she wasn't interested in talking to the monster that had put her in this horrible mess, I didn't know. She simply turned back to the window wordlessly, brushing away another loose tear. A loose tear I desperately wanted to brush away for her but feared to in case of a terrified reaction.

I buried myself into the cushioned first class chair and now welcomed the irritating thoughts – anything that would distract me from this grief.

_God, I have so much to do at home. I don't know why I agree to these vacations. I'm putting my foot down next fall – my career is not benefiting from it._

_Good not long to go. I can't wait to see Joey. I wish he'd hurry up an ask me to move in with me already._

_Hope I didn't leave the cat in when I left. That'd be fucking wonderful. _

_She hasn't noticed. Stop worrying about it Trevor, for god sakes. How could she have noticed? Helen arrives hours after she's left and leaves hours before she comes home. You're being ridiculous. This whole vacation will have softened her up anyway._

_If that idiot thinks taking me on a vacation is going to stop me divorcing him for adultery, he has another thing coming. I'm going straight to Jill Hawthorne when I get home, she's the best divorce lawyer in town. _

_Wedding ring. Just my luck. Not that he'd go for me anyway. Even Donald Hornsby back home stuck his nose up at me. Am I ever going to get a boyfriend?_

I shook my head after that one. Trivial human problems were only contrasting the issue of the monster inside Bella and making it seem worse in comparison. Now even mind reading was unpleasant. Would there be any relief from the anguish?

"We'll be arriving in approximately fifteen minutes. The pilot would like to advise you to listen to the flight attendant on duty for your safety during landing."

I closed my eyes and sighed, not paying attention to the mundane safety run through the flight attendant was giving in front of us. We were almost there. Fifteen more minutes and Bella would be in Carlisle's more than capable hands.

The landing went more smoothly than even I could have hoped. With great gusto I leapt from the seat, grabbed my carry on bag and rushed out of the plane at the humanist speed possible, Bella uncharacteristically graceful beside me – her expression almost determined. Perhaps her anger at me had been somewhat diverted in her determination to survive this ordeal. I too a deep sigh of relief as we checked our bags. Perhaps even in this dire situation – there was some light at the end of the long dark tunnel we'd been travelling for two years.

That was when I heard her.

_He doesn't realise, but this is a miracle. She knows the risks but she and the baby will get through it. It is possible. It's possible._

I stopped dead in my tracks. There before use were the six faces of my family members, but there was one that stood out from the rest. The most ironically beautiful face in the world. Ironically because in that moment I hated her more than I've ever hated anyone.

And then the floor was stolen from underneath me again – Bella ran to her desperately, embracing her, tears flowing freely.

All I could do was stand and gape as the thoughts lolled over my head.

_I have to reassure her everything is going to be fine. I know she wants the baby but fear will only feed negativity._

I took one tentative step forward and was then halted again as a telephone conversation played out in Rosalie's head. Bella – pleading, she accepting…

Bella wanted to keep the… the…

I rushed forward now, my face set in fury. But Rosalie stepped back behind Emmett, whose shock, no less than mine, still didn't falter in his protectiveness for Rosalie.

"She can't… This is…" My gaze never left Rosalie's and my attention never left her thoughts.

_Of course he's against it. Against anything that might compromise her safety._

I hissed in her direction, but before I could take any further action Carlisle had gripped my arm and said coolly; "Not here."

With that, Rosalie led Bella to the car. I watched as she spoke softly to her and nodded in encouragement – so this is why Bella had not spoken a word on the plane. Had been so terrified of me.

She had been afraid that I knew about her conversation with Rosalie and that she would not reach her before I took matters into my own hands.

My body felt like lead as the dread dragged me down – I could sense already (like many other times before), Bella was in danger. But this time, I was sure there would be no escape from the monster inside her. The one I had created.

I let Carlisle lead me to the other car, already beginning to feel the anguish at Bella's loss claw at my insides.

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**I'm beginning to think both Edward and I need a psychiatrist. Will the angst ever end? lol. I actually have another one to go after this if anyone is interested in another Edward POV. It Edward's raunchy thoughts while in the water. I have called it (as a result of creativity lol) 'In the Water.' I'm thinking of branching out into other characters as well though, so as usual I ask for your opinions and reviews! A Cullen (or other, if that's your preference :) vampire of your choice is waiting if you do review ;)**


	4. In the Water

**A/N This was meant to be an M rated chapter but as usual I sat down and tried to write something a certain way and it didn't work out like I wanted. I may try my hand at writing another more M ratish one but no promises. This one kind of combines a few suggestions I had and also combines a little idea of my own (Alice visions - it'll make sense when you read it anyway.) Enjoy :)**

**Special mention to my BETA Lady Touniquet. :) She rocks! **

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**In the Water**

If I had had a heart, it would have been beating out of my chest.

The water seemed to be emulating the stillness of my immortal body; a stillness that didn't match my whirring thoughts. I gently dragged my arm through the water creating a quiet wave that lolled over the surface of the pool and rolled into the darkness.

I swallowed a fresh mouthful of venom.

I knew there was no way out of it now. Nothing could change her mind. And if I was being painfully honest there was a small part of me that didn't care for her safety. A small part of me that didn't want her to change her mind… A small part of me that…

I groaned. Venom filling my mouth again, fire raging in my throat. I could barely keep my nature in control now let alone when she came out…

I closed my eyes and tried to think of anything but her. It was pointless. Nothing distracted me. Her tranquil beauty that day… Nothing could shake that from my mind.

I tried to remember the advice Carlisle had given me when I'd first told him, despairing and desperate at the time.

We were sitting in his study. Me with my head in my hands and he with an infuriating thoughtfulness.

"Have you tried to talk her out of it?"

I snorted; "Of course I have. She won't listen. She doesn't understand this… this life. She won't understand until she's one of us sand she says then she'll be too focused on her thirst and she wants…"

I shook my head.

"She's right Edward." He said softly, "It won't be the same."

I groaned in frustration; "Is her pleasure worth the risk? I've been testing myself to the very limit but this is… Impossible."

"We don't know it's impossible…"

I stood up and kicked the chair aside. "You're agreeing with this craziness?" I shook my head and pinched the bridge of my nose, "I can't do this. I'd rather turn her now than do this!"

"Would you?" He asked sceptically.

I stopped stalking.

_Would I?_

No. I wouldn't. Somewhere I wanted it, maybe even more than she did. But I wanted her safety more than that even. I wanted her life.

I wanted…

"Do you think its possible?" I asked through my teeth.

Oh God… Why was I even asking this? I was crazy. Selfish.

"Your self control is beyond anything any of us thought possible. In the beginning you could barely be in the same room as she could without wanting to kill her. Now, you have an almost human physical relationship."

"Almost…" I repeated.

"If you r control can evolve to allow for what you do now, why can't it evolve to allow this as well?"

_Because, _my logical side protested, _this is the one thing that allows me no control._

I had been so focused on my own thoughts that I had barely noticed Carlisle's thoughts let alone Jasper's or Esme's who were both downstairs trying to give Carlisle and me some privacy. Rosalie - who was playing my piano (probably just to rile me up further) I was well used to blocking; her mind was an endless frustration of vanity. But I couldn't ignore Emmett's overly exuberant mind.

_What's going on?_

"What's going on?" He asked Jasper in a hushed voice.

Jasper and Esme suavely ignored his question.

"Bella convinced Edward to sleep with her before he changes her." Rosalie said smugly. _If he goes through with it, she probably won't survive long enough for him to turn her._

I hissed.

Carlisle sighed, guessing at her smug thoughts; "She's just-"

"I know." I sighed hopelessly, "She's right."

I heard thunderous footsteps on the stairs as Emmett rushed to the office.

"Emmett go away." I growled.

"Aw come on! " He cried from behind the door, "This is not that bad!"

I wanted to smash through the door and tackle him down the stairs. As if he knew how bad it was. As if he knew how difficult it was to resist her blood when we were standing next to each other let alone…

I groaned. I was too tired from fighting with myself to fight with Emmett as well.

"Emmett now is not the time." Carlisle said softly.

I heard Emmett scoff and then reluctantly retreat back down the stairs and into the lounge room, muttering the whole way. He turned on the TV and absorbed himself in the football.

_Melodramatic as usual. _He thought as he watched the Demons score the fifth try for the match.

I snorted in a very unamused manner.

"Are you prepared to go through with this?" Carlisle asked, almost as if there had been no interruption.

_No. _

_Yes._

_NO!_

"I have no choice." I said bleakly. "I promised her."

I winced at the memory of my reluctance. A reluctance that (though protested) was still very strong. I took a deep ineffectual breath and tried to block the thought of Bella. Anything but the picture of her walking down the stairs with Charlie at her side, her angel face radiant in its happiness, her wedding dress flowing down her body appreciatively.

I frowned. Perhaps I was going about this the wrong way.

I remembered some advice Jasper had given me shortly after my discussion with Carlisle. Unlike Emmett, he approached the subject with sensitivity and thoughtfulness and didn't come straight out with something along the lines of, "You're over ninety years old and still a virgin. You should be rejoicing that someone finally wants to sleep with you."

Jasper came to our conversation armed with some evidence that it was going to succeed. Evidence I argued was only valid up till the point I changed my mind and decided I wasn't strong enough not to kill Bella and lost control completely.

After all, Alice's vision weren't always accurate.

"Maybe you should just practise it." Jasper had suggested softly, "Lead up to it. The same way you learnt to resist her blood."

I resisted the urge to remind him that practise had still not made his transition to our vegetarian diet any easier.

"You're capable Edward. Just as long as you do things the way they work for you – systematically and with some sort of pre planned organisation. Practise."

I took another entirely ineffectual breath and did something I'd told myself I wasn't going to do from the moment the idea had first presented itself.

The mind was a funny thing, able to lock away memories that would inevitably be damaging to their holder.

I unlocked the memory carefully – the memory of Jasper's evidence. Of Alice's vision.

I clenched my fist.

At first I couldn't make out where we were. It was dark, but slightly less so than the darkness I was enveloped by. I realised suddenly that we were in one of the bedrooms inside. I couldn't make out which one from the darkness.

I swallowed, except there was no venom to swallow.

She was wearing a night gown I knew had been purchased by Alice. It wasn't likely that Bella would go looking for a piece of lingerie that revealing. We were kissing cautiously but there was an edge of danger to the grip I had on her arm. She was sitting on the bed and I was kneeling in front of her.

I locked the memory away again in a flash as the fire raged in my throat unbearably.

Why that night gown? Why did Alice have to make this harder than it already was? I swallowed the venom back, hoping the more I saw the easier it would be to stop the rush.

I ventured back through the door, less carefully than I had the first time.

I was hovering over her now and her legs were wrapped around my waist in a strong embrace – it probably felt quite light to me – and she was slipping the buttons on my shirt undone rather slowly. I froze suddenly and stopped kissing her to whisper in her ear; "Slowly."

It hurt to watch. As if she wasn't going slow enough already. I swallowed back another mouthful of venom and continued to watch as she undid the remaining buttons excruciatingly slow. Her breathing was amazingly less ragged than mine – determined almost. She shifted underneath me slightly and gained better access to my throat – the place where she leant up and placed a chaste kiss.

The door was locked again.

I shuddered at the memory. The image of me losing control completely. One soft kiss to the throat and I had simply ripped the gown from her skin and plunged back into total passionate surrender.

I went under the water now. Trying to soothe the raging fire that had now spread from my throat to the tips of my fingers and toes and everywhere in between. Could I possibly continue watching it now? Now that I had lost control in double the proportions?

Drowning for me was neither pleasant or unpleasant. For a moment it gave me some relief from the image of me tearing Bella's night gown. The rush of water in my useless lungs was a peculiar feeling.

But then, involuntarily, I entered the room again.

All the clothes were on the floor now, mine included. I shook my head and gulped water desperately. One of my hands was gripped tightly around one of the bed posts rendering it mangled. The other was tracing almost lightly down her soft porcelain body which was arched at my cold touch.

Had I been able to choke on the water I would have.

Trying to stop myself from looking was pointless. I was too far gone. I didn't even bother giving myself time to regain my composure. I simply charged on, fumbling through the image like a blind man.

I could see that I was breathing in her hair now – buried in it almost. My hand was still securely wrapped around the bed post, making it squeal loudly in protest. I wondered briefly how Bella hadn't noticed.

I felt my stomach tie itself into impossibly tight knots as I realised why she couldn't hear.

Her head was tilted slightly to the side, and her eyes were closed. Her face was torn in an expression I didn't understand – pain? Impossible pleasure? A mixture of the two? – And she was breathing louder than I was now. Breathing but still remaining comparatively quiet to what I had imagined unwillingly over the months. Perhaps I had requested it of her, to keep myself in control. Perhaps that was something I would have to ask of her in a few moments – Would her sounds send me dangerously over the edge?

Her hand was clutching my shoulder so tightly that her knuckles were almost luminous in the dark.

My noble side took over and demanded that I close the door again for a moment.

_Only for a moment. _My less noble side chanted teasingly – torturously.

The quantity of venom was not so dangerous now – perhaps a result of all the water I had been swallowing, but more I hoped the result of my practise. _Practise_. Had I been in anyway amused I might have laughed at myself. Would Bella have approved of this?

_Probably._

I sighed – taking in almost my body weight in water – and unlocked the door for the last time.

I didn't focus on specifics anymore. I couldn't afford to. Her hand clutched to my shoulder and my hand twisting the bed post were no longer sufficient images to produce the kind of experience I needed to be ready.

I gritted my teeth and tried to mentally take a step back.

Our movements were almost in synchronisation, but slightly out, as if she was trying to move in faster more shallow movements and I was trying to resist it.

I couldn't even concentrate on the idea that that would be different once she was a vampire and I didn't need to worry anymore.

It physically ached to watch the two of us moving like that; both moaning and gasping together (which unlike our movements were perfectly in sync). It ached to see the outline of her cream coloured body reacting to mine. It ached beyond description to see and hear without the sensation. I hardly noticed the missing bed post which was now forgotten and the shoulder though cement in its nature that looked like it was about to give way from the pressure on it. I could only ache at the inescapably raw image of my beautiful wife and the fact that together like this we looked almost natural. As natural as I had always wanted.

I clenched my hands as the fire rose past my throat into my head – pulsating like a heart beat. I forced it back down and refused to let it cloud my control and precision.

I knew I could do this. And I knew (despite my best efforts) that I wanted this more than anything. More now that I had scene it before my very eyes.

The image flitted back into the front of my mind – no longer needing a lock and key – and I was rendered motionless as a stone as I watched her arch backwards into the pillow with a gasp.

I waited for the inevitable.

The loss of control.

The monster reaction.

As I waited I sank deeper and deeper into the dark water. I knew the reaction would hit as shockingly as the hard sand floor.

But nothing happened. I continued to sink; losing sight of the faint moonlight as it and my control inched away from me.

No monster reaction.

No jolt of the bottom of the water.

Just motionlessness. And slow breathing. And one shoulder being released slightly. And one set of lips being captured by another. And the whispers of one husband to his wife. And the almost overwhelming love between them.

I held that image. I held it jubilantly, determinedly.

And then I rose; with a few strokes I propelled myself toward the moonlight, taking a gulp of air as I hit the surface.

And there she was… entering the light slowly.

I took a deep breath and knew I was ready.

* * *

**So are there any reviewers who don't want a naked, water dwelling Edward? Didn't think so ;)**


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